Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I'll Let You In My World


Yeah, that's me.

I am not capable of living a normal life....whatever that might be. So it was a fun Friday night with friends...and get this....

Dallas gets hit by a car!

WHAT the ....!!!???

Don't worry! He is fine, but I lost it. He was in hot pursuit of a ball and ran out in the street before any of us could do anything. I saw it - then dropped to my knees and cried like I've wait...yeah...I cried kinda like that. Also, it was May 7th - exactly 6 months since my world turned upside down.

I should probably have my blood pressure checked out.

I feel compelled to share something very private and dear to me. When crazy or difficult things come my way, i.e. Dallas being struck by a vehicle, I so badly wish Brad could be here to handle it. He could remain calm while I'm a basket case. He always knew how to ease my fear and my occasional hot temper. I found this note not long after Brad died. He gave this to me when we were in college, but it sure seems like it was meant for me now. I hope you can see his tender heart through his words.

In case you aren't skilled in translating Brad's handwriting, this is what it says. Also, that is probably 8 year old cereal stuck to the page.

Hello. I know you're stressed right now,
just shut it all out while you read this. No one
said that life would be easy. No one said that
we are perfect. It may seem like you're confused,
but I assure you that's the way anyone would
think in your situation. It's part of it. The
only thing that will help is going on with your life
every second of every day. When you get frustrated
because you can't concentrate, pray about it. You may
have to pray every second, but eventually it will get
better. I'm praying for you, every part of your being
I'm praying for. I know it's hard to see that school
should be important right now, but if you try, and
keep trying, you'll realize that you're capable of
doing things you didn't expect. One thing that that will
make you feel better is to confront your stress, one
step at a time. One page at a time, then one chapter,
then one class, it will require you to challenge yourself,
but I believe in you with all my heart. Just
know that God would never give you anything
you can't handle. Like you always say to me: "I can
do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Every time

you get frustrated, say it to yourself, and believe.

Keep it up sweetheart, You can do it!



  1. Wow. Not much else to say. I believe it was meant for you now. God is amazing. You are too sweetheart and I love you. LeAnne Phalen

  2. what a wonderful, beautiful letter. I so wish he could have offered his own self that level of support. I am so sorry for your loss Alicia, and I'm glad Dallas is OK.